SPI 551: Why Lying to Yourself Helps You Become More Successful with Marisa Peer

SPI 551: Why Lying to Yourself Helps You Become More Successful with Marisa Peer

[00:00:00] Marisa:
We can choose how to talk to ourselves. You can choose to be negative or positive, but what you can’t choose is what you do to your body when you consistently use negative language.

If you could look in your body and see what you do, you would never ever use that negative language. You wouldn’t consistently use negative language, because while you can choose it, your body cannot choose the effect it has on you.

It has a horrible effect on you.

[00:00:47] Pat:
Today, we’re going to be talking about confidence. We’re going to be talking about your relationship with money. We’re going to be talking about your relationship with yourself, and how to become successful by lying to yourself.

On the surface that might sound counterintuitive. It might sound like, well, now you’re just faking yourself out. You’re telling yourself things that are untrue and you know this, therefore you’re going deeper into the depths of negativity.

Today’s guest, Marisa Peer, really brought to light a lot of things that we do to ourselves, things we say, things we then turn into reality because of what we believe.

A lot of this belief coming from who we were as children and the things that we soaked up, because we’re little sponges as kids, and how we can break through those molds. Really, end up with the life that we absolutely enjoy.

We talk about fear. We talk about money management. We talk about selling, and our relationship with selling. This may very well be one of the most important episodes of the Smart Passive Income podcast you ever listen to.

Again, we’re speaking with Marisa Peer, from MarisaPeer.com. She focuses on Rapid Transformational Therapy. She has clients all over the world who are massive celebrities. Massive millionaires. High-performance peak people, and she helps them through, in a quick manner, a lot of what they’re going through.

She’s helping us today through our struggles and challenges that we have around money and business success, entrepreneurship, relationships, and gaining confidence. It all has to do with telling yourself lies.

Trust me, you’re not going to want to miss this one. This is session 551. One of the smart passive income podcast. Thanks for being here, and here she is, Marissa Peer.

Marissa, welcome to the Smart Passive Income podcast. Thank you so much for taking the time today.

[00:02:31] Marisa:
Well, thank you for inviting me. I’m thrilled to be here.

[00:02:34] Pat:
I’m excited to chat, because you have coined a term, Rapid Transformational Therapy. That is your expertise, and I’ve never been introduced to this. Can you explain to myself and to everybody listening, what is Rapid Transformational Therapy?

[00:02:49] Marisa:
Well, it’s called an RTT, because it’s much easier to say, but RTT is my entire adult life and I always pondered something. And if you turn up a and E or indeed the dentist, or indeed the chiropractor in pain, they’re going to fix you. If you say I’ve hurt my leg, I put my back out, my tooth’s fallen out. I’ve just cut my arm.

They will fix you there. And then. And therapy says three different. It says when you turn up in pain could be physical pain. I could be having chronic migraines that my doctor says a psychosomatic. I could be in deep, emotional pain. I could be in the pain of having a phobia. So I can’t drive a car or get into an elevator.

And that pain is exactly the same as physical pain. And I never understood where we don’t offer people an immediate sex. I’ve had many cons, one of my cousins, you know, I can’t drive on the freeway. And I’ve got businesses all over LA, can you imagine the embarrassment? I have to tell people, no, no, I can’t go on the freeway.

People want to lift work or I’m meeting people and it takes me five hours to get to San Diego. Cause I won’t take the freeway. That was a lot of pain for him. And when I fixed that immediately, it was all to do with. Responsibility when he first had his newborn baby in the car, he got completely panicked about the responsibility of driving And he couldn’t merge in traffic.

We fixed that in an hour. That’s probably a less of a thing that someone who says, you know, I can’t get in an elevator. I have panic attacks. I have a phobia, a bird. So you can imagine how that ruin someone’s life. And I don’t think anyone’s got time anymore to go to therapy for five years and talk about their ceilings because we live in such a fast forward.

I can’t even wait for that server to get to my face. Oh, where’s my other phone. Where’s my iPad. Where’s my computer.

And so I think in the fast world and people want to be out of pain as fast as they possibly can. He wouldn’t lie to me. So, you know, that’s wrong, rapid and therapy. We shouldn’t go together.

I said, why not? Who said that? And why were they correct? You? We have to challenge beliefs that exists from the fifties and forties, because it’s different now, even. How can you do therapy on zoom? Well, the only reason you will think you can’t is when therapy was invented in the fifties, there wasn’t a zoom.

There was no Skype. There was no FaceTime. One. We didn’t have a phone phone therapy and Skype therapy is actually very, very effective. So I just wanted to challenge beliefs that. Serve therapists, but didn’t serve clients and many therapists most are wonderful people. It’s not their thought. They bought into this.

You’ve got to come to therapy for years. You know, I had someone in my course recently and we did a rapid therapy. Just if my doctor said it would take me years before I could even begin to feel better, which is complete nonsense. She felt better almost straight away. So it was just challenging something that, and people believe because they believe it and then think.

Maybe I don’t need to believe that after.

[00:05:42] Pat:
Yeah. And it’s so interesting because when a doctor tells you something like that, you immediately believe what they say because they have the credentials, that’s their expertise. So what does that do to us internally? as far as the story that we’re telling ourself and how does it actually turn into reality based on what we hear from him.

[00:05:58] Marisa:
Well, we know that our thoughts become weird. If you believe that you have a sinus headache, if you believe that you always break out in a rash, when you’re around a cat or a dog, if you believe that you are taking something alcoholic, when it’s not alcoholic, you will react as if you’re drunk because the placebo.

The effectiveness of a drug has more to do with what you think is going to do than the compounds of the drug itself. So we already know that when we think that it becomes true, and it’s a great shame that people are told, well, you know, you’ve got something complex, you’ve got bulemia, that’s very complex or, or depression.

And if the, if the presenting issue is complex, then the treatment must be long and complex. And I’ve never found that to be the case at all.

[00:06:42] Pat:
So you talked about the placebo effect, and I know that in doing some research on your work, you have this phrase it’s, you know, we have to tell ourselves a better lie. Can you explain exactly what that means and how that might help?

[00:06:55] Marisa:
Because you know, in my 30 plus years of being a therapist, 34 years, actually, I’ve noticed that people come in. And they will believe their greatest problem is what someone else is doing. But actually it’s the lies we tell ourselves. I can’t, my husband is driving me crazy. My kids are making me lose my mind.

My boss is a nightmare. I’m shattered. I haven’t spit. Like I haven’t slept for a week. If I look at a cake, I gain a pound and I can’t lose weight no matter what I do. And I’m just not lovable. And all of these things are not trivial to say, you know, I can eat eight horse.

I’m starving all the time. I’m absolutely shattered. I’m going crazy. we have to start from think none of these beliefs are true, but the problem is that whatever you tell your mind, it makes it real. One of the strongest forces in humans is the. We must act in a way that’s consistent with how we define ourselves.

I’m depressed, I’m anxious, I’m nervous. I’m shy when we label ourselves, we limit ourselves. So it’s important to understand that the strongest forces that we act in a way that we define what we are way we’re describing ourselves, but also to understand every word you say, And every thought you think is a blueprint that your mind, body and psyche must work to make.

Really, when you understand why I would say a blueprint and I can change my way. So here’s a thing you can say. I’m chronically tired if you just flip that. So, you know, I am a lRTTle tired, a bit dehydrated. I didn’t, I stayed up too late, but I’m just a lRTTle tired. I’ve got a headache. That’s killing. If you just flip that?

Well, that’s all right. It’s not killing me. It’s a slight headache. I can rub some take pill, time on. I’ll be fine in an hour. If I look at food, I get fat. Well, obviously that isn’t true. So we have to get people to see that they’re using really powerful words to explain to my kids and making the I’m at the end of my rope, I’m losing my rag.

I’m going insane. You still can think insane. And you know, that comes with the general kids. They’re challenging. And if you say you’re a challenging, but in 10 years, I’ll be worried. Cause they’re not visiting me enough. So we have to really look at the blueprint. Remember that every word, every thought is a blueprint.

And if you just change the blueprint, you can change your entire life. And it’s incredible how fast it is. I’ll give you an example. One of my clients used to say this word. I can’t cope with noise. I can’t go with a packet, potato chips being open because I’m hyper sensitive as well. You’re hyper sensitive because you keep telling yourself you’re sensitive.

And what kind of life do you have? Don’t go to the cinema. Don’t go to the store. Don’t mix because you’ve told yourself you are sensitive to noise and light, and it’s not even true. And when she began to say, I said, I’m going to give you a lRTTle gate. I want you to change that word. I can’t cope too. I have phenomenal coping skills.

I know you think that’s a lie, but guess what? So is I can’t cope. So is I can’t play with a bag of potato chips being opened. That’s silly. I want to say every day I have extraordinary, phenomenal coping skills. Within 10 days, she was a different person because she flipped her script and we can all choose how to talk to ourselves.

You can choose to be negative. What positive, but what you can’t choose is what you do to your body when you consistently use negative language. And if you could look in your body and see what you do, you would never ever use that negative language. Again, you might have a day off, but you wouldn’t consistently use negative language because while you can choose it, your body cannot choose the effect it has on you.

It has a horrible effect on.

[00:10:53] Pat:
How does one cope with the confirmation bias that happens when we tell ourselves these things, right? Like I know that there are days for example, where I wake up and I might stub my toe and I immediately

Turn on the faucet and it breaks. Today is one of those bad days. And therefore I then, you know, live the rest of the day and actually look for things that confirm that this day. is bad when in fact It’s just no, those were two things that happen and it’s up to me, but how do we fight that?

Because we can tell ourselves these things, but then these instances happen that we are so used to looking for, we go on a scale and look at those numbers and it’s just like, well, okay.

That’s, I’m just lying to myself now at this point,

[00:11:30] Marisa:
There’s nothing wrong with lying to yourself. We all do it every single day. It’s just lie to yourself better. So we make our beliefs, that’s the first thing. And then our beliefs turn around and make us, and then we have confirmation bias. I’m looking to prove. What I believe to be true, being true. Every person I meet goes to me, runs off with my friends or every job I get.

It never works out. Everything I touch goes wrong. Now you’re looking for proof of that. You know, many years ago I was doing a live demonstration in a hospital and a girl came up to be my subject and she had an terror of dogs, really a terrible. And it all went back weirdly enough to the fact that when she was a kid, her stepfather.

Put it to bed and read, but he would always kind of, he would say, have a heroin, like nothing really weird, but weird enough that he would stroke her back and you’d be panting like a dog. And strangely she, she transfixed this fear interfere a dog. So we, we, raveled all of that and took a look at it and made sense.

And that was all fine. And I made her an audio saying the opposite of love is not hate. It’s indifferent. You’re indifferent to jobs. You actually like them, but you’re not looking for them because people with their dogs and they go in your house, they start Nicky. Is there a dog? Is there a lead? They’re always looking for dogs.

Like people that fear of spiders is there a web up there? They look all the time while they’re scared. And so she came a week later, was second week back. She came how we used to w I didn’t actually know because I haven’t seen any dogs. And so I said, we can talking about when we came out of the trainers and there was a dog, I didn’t see it.

There was a dog outside. I didn’t see it. And I said, that’s interesting, cause you’re not looking for it. So the confirmation bias means we look for what we are scared. Someone who is scared of birds will be looking for that. Someone who feels that they can’t trust their partner is always on their phone checking messages.

Who is that? Why are you looking at that person? You don’t love me anymore. You forgot my birthday. You spoke to me very unkindly. Someone who believes that they’re undervalued will look for you. See what my boss did today. He was very short tampered. Well, maybe he’s having a bad day that it’s not about you, but we do.

But we have decided is real. And that’s very good because you can start looking for something better and guess what? You’ll find it. You can walk through the day. No one loves me and finding proof of that every day. But if you flip that to, I am magnetically irresistible, everyone loves me because I’m lovable.

Consternation bias means you find proof of what you are already looking for, and you can play a game with that. You know what I’m going to just decide today. Everyone is kind who were really actually good people. And I’m going to walk through LA believing that people are nice. They’re going to say, Hey, could you direct me to this place?

Could you help me here? Could you explain some people would do. I could even say, Hey, isn’t it a lRTTle cool jog. My, I can’t get, I’ve got enough money for the meter. People we’ll help you out next day. Just is, people are horrible, mean out to rip you off. Everyone’s so cold. And if you go out believing that and repeating it, guess what?

You’ll find that too. So it’s really important to change your confirmation bias and make it a good confirmation bias because the rule of the minds, as we will make that.

[00:14:59] Pat:
What would you offer for the entrepreneur? Who’s listening? Who’s just starting out, has never succeeded with building a business in their life who is looking to finally build something and is often using confirmation bias in a negative way to re.

They’re not good enough. Their is not going to pay attention to them.

And all these other stories. How might you flip the script for an entrepreneur? Starting out as far as confirmation bias is concerned.

[00:15:20] Marisa:
Well, the first thing is to believe that you have something amazing to offer the world. You need to tell yourself I’ve got something unique to offer the world. I’ve got a gift, I’ve got a talent. I’ve got a skill after all the, the guy that was in the movie with Caprio, when he was getting all the planes, the name will come back to me any minute.

Now he’s now working for the FBI. So I’ve worked with many people who were. And then actually use that skill and now working for, people that make locks and people that make burglar alarms catch me if you can, was the movie. So everyone has a scale. We all have a skill that some of us don’t know, we have a skill.

So the first step would be to tell yourself every day I got a gift I’ve got in town and I go to scale. I’m going to second scale. I know how to monetize my talent because we’re so lucky today. There’s thousands of YouTube tutorials. So many things you can learn about being an entrepreneur. I just was in a new filming for a movie.

In August last year, and it’s all about how to be an entrepreneur. And, you know, you’re so lucky you can research all of this online. But the biggest thing is I believe people who are greatest selling believes greatest selling people who believe that great at motivational speaking really great at this, because the most important word you allowed to hear.

Other words you say to seven, there are many people out there. Look at Dyson. One of the richest beaver in the world, you just took an existing vacuum cleaner. Watched his wife changed the bag, which are all a Dusko. This is crazy. She’s back here and now she’s releasing done. And he invented the dust was fact you, but you took an existing product and made it better.

So did the lady who invented Spanx. So a lot of people who are really successful don’t invent and they just take something already out there. And they improve it. And I love that, but you know, you must beliefs come first thoughts come first. You think a thought your thoughts dictate your feelings and your feelings dictate your actions and your behaviors.

So instead of changing your behavior and your actions, which are very important, Even your feelings changed the thoughts first, tell yourself I’m amazing. Look at somebody like Tony Robbins in India, Dr. Winfrey, who didn’t come from a college background, didn’t come from wealth, but had a belief. I’ve got something amazing here and I’m going to offer it to the Lord.

And if you believe it and why we’re in and firing enough, other people will believe it too.

[00:17:58] Pat:
I love that. Thank you, Maria. So one strategy I often recommend my entrepreneurs is to. Narrowed down the focus and just try to get help. One person get one result, one person, one result just to make it simple because when you see that you will, are actually valuable and you can help one person, it really unlocks, like you said that now we’ve now we’re using confirmation bias.

We have actual proof. We’re using first principles to realize we have something of value. We can put it out there and that’s so great. The. The subject I want to talk about next is really deep. I know it’s deep for many people and it relates to entrepreneurs because entrepreneurs are trying to make money.

And oftentimes a person might know they have value to share. They know they might have the ability to help somebody, but they feel bad charging.

And it really hurts their business because if you’re not confident because you’re having this relationship with money, it’s going to be hard for other people to be confident in what you have to offer. And you know, a business that makes no money is no longer a business. So how do you help an entrepreneur who has these money issues, especially when it comes to how sleazy and slimy selling seems to be for many of us.

[00:19:02] Marisa:
Yeah, and selling is such a gift. You know, selling is an art. and confidence is very reassuring. I’m in many years, guys to commute to LA every two weeks. And I was flying back to London and we hit terrible turbulence. And the pilot came on. I said, no, please don’t worry. I happened to be VA’s best pilot.

I fly this route every week. It’s just turbulence is a lRTTle bit of a trip to Disneyland and we’ll all be through this in 15 minutes and nobody went, that’s an arrogant part. They went, oh yes, we have a pilot from BA and he does this every week. And there’s nothing to worry about. Imagine, if you were saying, when you went to doctor went well, I’m not really very good.

I mean, I do my best, you know, who knows you want a doctor down the best doctor you’re in the best hands I’m going to take care of. You’re going to be absolutely fine. When you put your kids in school, he wants a school that says we’re a great school. We’re going to take your kid and help them develop into an extraordinary person.

I don’t think confidence is arrogant. It’s reassuring. because we feel safe with confident people and you must tell people you’re good. And then you must tell them that you’re expensive using. Somebody referred a client to me and came in and saw me when he went home, she said, how was it?

You said it was reassuringly expensive. And I loved that because he thought, wow, this must be good. It’s expensive. We don’t really value stuff. That’s cheap. No one value stuffing get in the dollar store. We was like, oh, it doesn’t matter. It costs nothing. When we save up to buy something, we value, I’ve worked with many, many rock stars and quite a lot of lottery winners to.

And they all have this interesting behavior. They didn’t add it. They give it away. It doesn’t have any value. And so we value something that we have to work for. You see that in dating men really value women that make them work a lRTTle bit to get to know them. They didn’t value the ones that just turn up and go, oh, come over.

I’ll cook dinner. Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll do everything for you. So you have to believe that what you’ve got to offer is of immense value. And then you have to charge a fee that makes your clients see this is of immense value to we don’t value what we get for free, you know, 70% of lottery winners, an extraordinary high, biggest, 70%, a bankrupt in three years.

Why is that? Because. They have no value. They go to easily. They give it away. They don’t understand. And the only 30% that keep it, the ones that already had money or go to very good financial investment. So again, it’s going back and sinking where I have to offer is of immense value. I have value to offer you new, anything you buy.

Without question, we buy stuff that makes us feel good as why we buy Nike trainers. Instead of ones we can buy in target. That’s why we buy an apple laptop. We’ll maybe get a much cheaper one. We buy things that make us feel good. And if your business makes people feel good in any way at all, and you can sell that business.

And I love the idea of starting with one person helping one person, because then you think, wow, I helped this, but I did something amazing one sale, but what you have to get comfortable asking for money and your money is energy you give and receive is so we can all do this thing. I quite like doing it.

So just take a minute, everyone listening and breathing. So take your breath and I’ll give one away, take another one, give it away. So now you have that perfect balance you are giving and you are taking, and if you feel uncomfortable taking, give to your breath now. Give it away, but don’t take one back.

Just keep giving, just keep breathing out and being a giver and give more, breathe out more, keep breathing out. I want you to keep breathing out until it feels so uncomfortable and so unnatural. And so out of balance, eventually you have to take.

[00:23:09] Pat:
Yeah.

[00:23:10] Marisa:
And then you say, well, that feels better. Or you can also practice just taking a breath and not giving it all.

It also feels horrible after a while, even though, you know, you can hold that breath for a full minute nature requires balance, give and receive. So you have to say, you know, I’m giving a talent, I’m giving a gift, I’ve got something amazing. I’m giving. And I can give and receive. If I’m giving of myself, I need to receive gender.

I need to receive a salary. I need to receive payment because that’s balance and people will pay for anything that makes a difference in their life. After all, if you call that an emergency plan. Because your house is flooded your throat to pay him, find it. Dentist. When you got raging Tuesday, you’re elated to pay him.

So you have to make a decision that what you have to offer is amazing, his immense value, and that people will buy it. If it makes them feel good in any way. And when you can get that right in your head by repeating it because the mind learns by repetition. I have something amazing to offer the world something incredible, something that people love after all, you know, we pay for returns or we pay for war.

We pay for stuff that my grandmother wouldn’t never have paid for sour milk y’all garden. I don’t understand. She would have been completely baffled by that. We paid the stuff that’s fermented people buy ‘em cartoons of air. It’s amazing what we pay for, but if it makes us feel good, we’ll pay for it. And so it’s you becoming comfortable?

So practice asking for money, practice saying your investment with this, don’t say the fee is the cost is the amount. So your investment with me is your investment in this product, your investment in yourself, because we love. Investing in ourselves. So don’t use the word price cost, use the word investment and using the word investment makes a huge difference.

So the biggest thing is practicing the amount. You know, when you say to your client, it’s, $400 and you know, you have to say your investment or out with me is $4,000 for it. And then don’t say I know it’s a bit expensive. Can you afford it? just, take a breath. $4,000. Yeah, I can do that. Or they might say, you know, I actually know I can’t do that.

I, I’m not a cheap by any stretch of the imagination, but when clients say to me assigned to my budget, I will often say, well, I just, my fees, the nurses, the students, and I will adjust my fee, but I always give people a lRTTle time to see. It’s worth it. And people always say to me, no, this is the best money I’ve ever spent.

I would have paid you more and trained to go recently. And she said, the guy paid me for the therapy. They will pay up front. And a week later I notice you’ve paid again. And he said it was so valuable. You didn’t charge enough. I would have paid you anything for that session. But something else happened to me many years ago.

And incredibly rich bank as if my brother has a real problem eating food. It’s the bane of his life. Can you give him a session? I said, absolutely. And his brother, the brother was a friend of mine. He came in, we worked all his stuff best swallowing or to do with this childhood. And I, and then he went off and then his brother said, you know, he needed a second session and he wouldn’t come back because you didn’t charge him.

He felt so obligated. You should have challenged him. I said, you know, that’s right. I didn’t realize giving him that, but nothing amazing feeling and able to come back and have a second session. So charge, charge, what you’re worth. Don’t be scared of starting high. You can always negotiate down that you can never negotiate out.

Many years ago, I was offered this amazing job on television, and this is me. How much do you want? And I thought, well, that, should I say an ask my friend who’s head of a network. What should I do should have asked for more. If they want you, they will pay more or they will negotiate you down. But if you start low, how can you negotiate out?

So decide what you want. I want this. And I told them and they say, yes, that’s fine. And, that was a great thing that she reminds me. People want to go, she ate you down, but when you start low, how can you negotiate?

[00:27:37] Pat:
Wonderful advice, Marissa, this is game changing. I think a lot of people are going to benefit from this section of the interview. Thank you. You had mentioned in a number of answers based on a number of questions. I’ve, The idea of the fact that our childhood has such a huge effect on who we become in our relationship with selling and money and everything, food, like you said, and how does one rewrite.

What has been created for us in the past. I know that I’ve had a lot of experiences and I can remember very specific moments related to money that my dad and I had conversations about that made me believe that I had to save every single dollar and to not spend anything, you know, from a long time ago.

It’s true that our childhood has a huge effect and it can be hard to get out of that. And how do, how do we get out of those habits that, you know, we didn’t even create for ourselves.

[00:28:27] Marisa:
Yeah, well, that’s probably a lRTTle game now. I love, I love doing things like this. And first of all,

Half of what we believe about money we learned before we were five. And I want you to think about what your parents said about money. Just taking a minute and saying, what did they say? And that’s because they said things like money doesn’t grow on trees.

We come sign the money. We come find the money is very confusing to children because you don’t find money. You monetize a tenant. You have, which I don’t know where the money is coming. We can’t find the money. We haven’t got the money that leads to a hundred bleeds. Oh, you got to find money. One day Mondo goes, it’d be mommy.

You don’t have to argue with daddy about money. You just go to the bank and they give it to you because that’s what she saw. You put plastic in the wall and the wall gives you money. So she grew up with this belief that you can always find money. And when she was very lRTTle, she said, mommy, I really want this toy.

And I go, well, you’re gonna have to earn that choice. When you get 500 stores, I made it a load of stuff. You can have that toy. And she found it such fun. Getting the start didn’t really care about the toy. But I noticed if I gave a horrible job life, I said, well, you got to clean the toilet. I would take out the trash and teaching already.

You got to do stuff. mommy. So I got to, to do stuff. She already, like, she loved cooking and baking made a terrible mess, but I’d get it to do things she loved so she could understand that she had a talent, she could monetize it. So that’s an interesting thing that we teach our kids. I can’t find the money and you’re going to have to go out and deliver newspapers at five in the morning and the coal just to get the money.

And that, that doesn’t quite work. What does work is listening to what your parents say about money. So let’s, let’s throw out a few right now. Money doesn’t grow on trees, a fool and his money easily part, I don’t know where the money’s coming from. The money goes. The money ends before the weekends. Tell me some of the things that you heard when you were growing up about money.

[00:30:32] Pat:
Things like money is the root of all evil. I heard things like, well, we can’t afford it. Or, and it was always a stress on we like, well, we can’t afford it. Right. And those were the kinds of phrases that I, that I heard.

[00:30:45] Marisa:
So imagine if you change that word to energy and you said energy doesn’t grow on trees, a fool, and his energy easily. Part of, I don’t know where the energy is coming from. We haven’t got enough energy. We can’t afford the energy. You will. That’s kind of crazy. But money is an energy. It’s a transaction.

So say your thoughts out loud with the screen now, really eat. Just say it is. If I can hear you say your thought right now and now say it again, but replace the word money with energy a fall and his energy easily part

[00:31:22] Pat:
I don’t have enough energy.

[00:31:24] Marisa:
Don’t have enough energy, spiritual people don’t care about energy. Those people where their energy is.

So their soul to the devil and you think, well, that’s just a crazy belief because we making money, energy, but the beliefs are crazy. You can change your money beliefs, anytime you like. I can’t sign. The Miami becomes, I can monetize a gift. I already have good people. Don’t have money, many good people have immense wealth and do offer.

Winfrey has a school in Kenya. I, and in many people who have money, who are doing one of the things, in fact, when you have so much money, your only option eventually is to do good things with it because you have so much, you start thinking, well, maybe I’ll start to school. Maybe I’ll start a charity. I know that, Shakira uses all her money to fund animal rescue and, this great Scottish actor that was in Trainspotting, UN McGregor he’s, he’s used a lot of his money, but Donna’s used a lot of her money, to fund an orphanage in Malawi. George Michael was a phenomenal philanthropist, always giving stuff away. And so the good thing is if you think what if I had money who would benefit. Would I employ a gardener or a cleaner a driver, would I, would I give people work? Because if you, if you’re having money, benefits other people, then that’s a good thing. and so if you start to write out

Why you want the money, what you are going to do to get that money, and then who would benefit you had the authority to say, I’m going to be a millionaire doing this, singing that song, going to be a millionaire. Well, that doesn’t quite work. You have to do this in three stages, first of all, and it’s really is a biggie.

You have to make a decision that you are worthy of it and deserving of it. And that is probably 80% of it is, is that unshakeable, unwavering conviction. I’m worth every penny. I deserve to have all this money and I’m going to do really good things with it. And if I am going to do good things with it, I’m worth that even more.

And then you have to decide, what are you going to do? What is it you’re going to create or improve or add to that would give you well, so once you can do those three things, you can be unstoppable, but you can’t do one of the three or two. You have to do all of them. The big one is the mindset of wealth.

And, and not that mindset of poverty, I’m scared to ask for that is too much. I don’t feel I deserve it. now I’m holding onto it so tight in case I never get it again. A mindset of wealth is I deserve this. It’s coming to me and giving a lot of it away, knowing it’s all coming back again. I’m doing good things and the mindset of, well, how you believe you’re worth it.

The feeling of SUNY who benefits, I mean, you having money and then finally the real clarity on what does that look like to you? And if you have all of those things, you will be amazing.

[00:34:35] Pat:
Hmm. I’d love to ask you about this because. You know, we’re not just single beings. We have communities, we have families, we have friends and loved ones that are around us as we are trying to become successful and put good out there in the world and make more money. And as I once heard, you know, we live in this world, that’s sometimes like a bucket of crabs.

You could have a bucket of life, crap. When one tries to climb out the others, pull them back down. You’ll never have to worry about crabs climbing out. And sometimes it can be difficult because we have people around us who try to bring us down when we’re trying to succeed in some way, shape or form, how might one navigate the relationships they have, that aren’t so favorable for a direction in life that you want to go.

[00:35:15] Marisa:
Well, you know, you have to not let that in. Everyone’s allowed to have an opinion. They weren’t always be European. People might say that’s ridiculous. I mean, I’m in betraying this girl for whales, who is an amazing girl called Shawnee and Emma, that’s ridiculous. Isn’t it money. And being a therapist And people have just got to get on with their lives and this is silly. and then she said, you can’t possibly show us that I, and she was charging, I think $600 a session and then a dance black entrepreneurs. It, Hey, could you help me? I have this real problem with dots and dots is very much a hand-eye coordination skill. And she helped him really believe in him. so I believe that he could get that to go where he wanted it to. She asked him for 600, he gave us 6,000. He said, oh, sorry. I thought you said six.

[00:36:01] Pat:
Yeah.

[00:36:01] Marisa:
Six hundreds on, he gave her $6,000 and he said, you’ve changed my entire life. And I’ve given you even more than that. And then when I was still says, but you challenged him too much with his mom.

He’s a world champion. He’s making so much money. Cause I helped him have that absolute confidence that come clarity rather like gold for that. I’m going to see it going where I want it to go. And if you look at the inner game of. And indeed the inner game of tennis. It’s all about the mindset of that.

All is going where I want it to go. Well, you could also have the inner game of sales. The inner game of JV partners is going where I wanted to go. When you visualize something going your way, when you think as thought everything starts to work to make that thought become real, which is why it’s so important to think positive thoughts and not negative.

But yes, there are people who say. you ripping people off. It’s not right. There’s someone up the road doing it first. Third of what you charge and you just say, yeah, I know that I have a skill it’s like that classics, or we’ve all heard about someone calling out a plumber and the plumber came in. She had.

Tapped a nail in the wall and said, that’s a hundred years, a hundred dollars for five minutes. He went, well, it’s $10 for the five minutes. It’s $90 for the training I had in the skill of knowing what to do. My friends was selling a house. You go to a realtor and then we also sold the house on day one.

She went, well, I didn’t have to pay all that commission. You sold it real easy. So that’s what you’re paying for my skin. You don’t pay less. Cause I sold the house on the pet. You should pay more because I all this stress, everything going wrong, people dropping out. I got that house into escrow immediately.

And I’m worth every penny. So when you can really value you and other people say, well, I think you’re too expensive. I think you’re charging money for a rope. I don’t see why we should have to charge healers, have that thing. Oh, I’m a healer. I’m a therapist. It doesn’t seem right to charge that you’re changing someone’s life and that’s price as well.

From when I’m training, I’ve trained 11,000 students. And I have people come up out of the audience and I do a live session and also led to what would you pay for that? And anything? I sold my house for that I’d paid anything for that. I worked with this beautiful guy a few years ago, who was gay. And he really felt he had to work so hard to make someone love him.

And it was all to do with his father rejecting him because he was gay and he was doing a week long course with me and he says, it’s amazing. I’ve already met someone just in this way. Can we get one? I said, what would you pay? Does alter paid anything for that? Because I was in so much pain. So when you’re giving someone something stop and think, you know, what is it worth to them?

What is it worth to you? And, you know, we pay a lot of money for stuff that makes us feel reassured. We pay a lot of, you know, and I’ve converted many homes. I would never, ever, ever in my life getting over the cheapest contractor because I have to go to the expensive one that I trust it was in there.

They done, they’re not cheap, but they’re really good. Getting the cheap on can be a terrible false economy. And I learned that from having contractors in, who did the job so badly, I had to get someone in to do it again. So you’re paying, we pay more for skilled. Attachment with paying for reassurance is so great.

I can leave them. I know I’ve seen their other work. I’ve seen all their referrals. I trust this person. I wouldn’t have someone else. It’s the same thing. If you’re getting a nanny for you, a child, you don’t want the cheapest one. You didn’t want someone who has no skills is super cheap because. Often you get what you pay for.

So put yourself in that bracket of you are paying for reassurance. You’re paying for skill. You’re paying for certainty of paying someone to do a great job. And we do tend to get what we pay for of course, are exceptions to that rule, but you want to price yourself in the area. And then when people around you say, you’re too expensive, say.

I don’t think so. My clients don’t think so. I know that I priced myself in an absolutely correct way. And you just have to not let that in are always people who want to bring you down. I remember my, one of my contractors said to him, oh, I was kind of painting outside and I was listening to whether I could do that.

I could do that. Well, why didn’t you do it then? Why are you a pager? If you can do what I do, it requires a huge amount of skill you have. So fast, you have to have advanced knowledge of what’s going on. What makes people tick? But you see, here’s the thing that you have to answer people hope good. Make it look easy, people.

Good act as good sing as good it. Make it look certain with that. Well, I could do that. He would just stand it, sit down and you talk to them and they get better. I could do that. And that’s often the challenge because you make it look so easy. I can do that.

Tony Robbins makes it look easy, but believe me, there are not many Tony Robbins, many people tried to copy him, but he may seem that easy because he does what he loves and he loves what he does.

But when you are good at your job, It looks easy and that’s why they wouldn’t value it because it looks easy. But when you ask them well, who, and then you do it, they go, I can’t do that because they didn’t understand the skill involved, your gift. If you’re gifted at your job, your career, you’ll make it look easy to everyone else.

But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. It just means you’re explicitly talented. After all Whitney Houston made looking, singing like that easy, but a Delta, but none of us could open our mouth and you could see our tongues. It was like a dowel. Does she may say that easy? That doesn’t mean it isn’t. It certainly doesn’t mean that you or I could pull off an Adele song anytime soon.

[00:42:13] Pat:
That’s for sure. thank you for that. And, and you know, that plumber story I love because you don’t really want the plumber at your house for so long.

[00:42:22] Marisa:
No.

[00:42:24] Pat:
The quicker they’ve finished their job. The more valuable it is. And we’re at an age now where information is freely available, access is everywhere, but it’s those who can help you get the job done or get to that transformation more quickly.

That is of more value. In fact, my favorite online courses, only four videos,

[00:42:40] Marisa:
Yeah.

[00:42:40] Pat:
It re sets my goals for every single year. And it’s exactly what I need. And I would, I would pay more for it if I could.

[00:42:46] Marisa:
Yeah, I think so. I think, you know, is it like if your car breaks down on the freeway and someone comes up and they fix it in 10 minutes, oh, I’m paying you less, you think, well, this is great. I couldn’t be in here for hours in the rain and you fixed it. And again, it goes back to value your scale just because you make it look easy.

That doesn’t mean it has no value. Anthony Hopkins makes easy, but that doesn’t mean that he didn’t spend a long time crafting that skill, or maybe he was born with that skill, whatever it is, he deserves to be very well paid for what he does, because he knows it looks so easy.

[00:43:26] Pat:
Marissa. This has been incredible. And transformational, thank you so much for your time today. This has been amazing. Where can people go to learn more about you and RTT and everything that you have to offer? I know you have a really, really cool YouTube channel. I kind of fell into a rabbit hole yesterday, watching all your stuff.

[00:43:41] Marisa:
Yeah. P a.com. We have some amazing, completely free audios on wealth wiring on money blocks. They’re free. We don’t ask for a credit card. There’s no catch. Marisa Peer.com. We have free audios and free downloads on money blocks, health blocks, love blogs, success blokes, you name it. They’re all free. If you want to do what I do or find someone who I’ve trained, go to R T t.com.

And if you want to join my movement, I’m enough because I find so many people hose and back is I’m not smart enough. I’m not educated enough. I’m not worthy enough. They have a great summit. Good. I’m in that we have all these lRTTle bracelets and we give them away. And the other thing you could do is, is read my new book.

Tell yourself a better line. I do love this book. I sound very arrogant, but I know it’s good. It’s a good book because it shows you the 10 cases, stories of people who have the fear of success. Fear of love. And it unravels then, but it also invites you to do exactly what I’m doing. It shows you eat first.

And this is what I did today with Jodie. And you, if you relate to that, you can do the same thing. This is what I do today with Tina, by the way, you can do it. And I think it has an it for audios that help you again, remove all your blocks because no baby is born saying I’m not worthy of LA. Don’t mind them to spend money on me, a baby.

When you’re in the womb, it’s like being in Hawaii. It’s always 75 degrees. You have 24 hour room service. Someone’s always there. So babies who are with an interesting belief, I can have whatever I want. No baby says not in a waste. My mom up she’s exhausted. I’m not going to spit out this cause she spent a lot of money on it.

We are boom, with a belief that says I can have what I want. And what happens is that belief become submerged between other, who do you think you are? That’s too expensive. We can’t afford it. I want navigate. And what I do with my audios is reactivate and re manifest and regenerate. What is already in you?

What you were born with? It believes that I can have everything with bells on. So go to Mercer, pier.com and take whatever you want and do get this, because it will show you how to use these techniques on yourself so that you can only get what you want. You can keep it and enjoy it and help others benefit from it too, for the rest of your life.

[00:46:12] Pat:
We’ll make sure to include all the links in your book on the show notes for this podcast episode. appreciate you so much. And I look forward to learning more from you on YouTube and through your book and everything else you have going on. Thank you so much for your time today.

[00:46:25] Marisa:
Thanks for inviting me. I’ve had a blast. Thank you so much.

[00:46:28] Pat:
Thank you.

You are enough. You are enough. I absolutely love that phrase. I’m gonna see how I might be able to get my kids to put that into their vocabulary. Just saying “I am enough.”

I think it’s difficult, especially in this day and age where we are always seeing what other people are doing, and always playing that comparison game.

In addition to the bucket of crabs that we live in sometimes, and how much we have to realize while that’s coming from somebody else and it’s their opinion, it’s up to us to be able to react in a certain way to those things. It’s also up to us to react to what we see that other people put out there.

Oftentimes we compare ourselves to a person’s Instagram, when a person’s Instagram is really just their highlight reel. A lot of these concepts today are really, really important, and very, very deep. I highly recommend you check out Marissa’s book. You check out her website. We’ll have all the links in the show notes.

You can find her at MarissaPeer.com, and of course all links and show notes at the show notes page at SmartPassiveIncome.com/session551.

Hopefully you could tell this was a very important episode. It might be one that you need to re-listen to, or even share with a spouse or business partner of yours.

These are truly life-changing things. It is the words that we tell ourselves, these affirmations, that truly help us become who we are one way or another. It is the “Think and Grow Rich.” It is those things that we tell ourselves that actually transpire and become real.

So, thank you for listening in today. I appreciate you. A big thank you to James Schramko, as well, for introducing me to Marissa. I heard Marissa on his show, Super Fast Business, and I was just immediately inspired and motivated. I wanted to have her come on the show, and she was quick. I appreciate her and her team for that. A big shout out to her assistant Sophia, as well.

I appreciate you for listening, and thank you for all the reviews that are coming in this year. I see them. I love you for them. I appreciate them, and I look forward to serving you in the next episodes. We have a lot of great stuff coming your way, so make sure you hit that subscribe button if you haven’t already.

Thank you, peace out, take care, and as always, team Flynn for the win.

Cheers.