SPI 483: Turning Life’s Challenges into a Podcast and Brand That Changes Lives with Mary Barbera

SPI 483: Turning Life’s Challenges into a Podcast and Brand That Changes Lives with Mary Barbera

Pat Flynn:
You may have heard of something called the butterfly effect, other people call it the ripple effect. I heard that from Shane and Jocelyn Sams, who were featured in episode 121. In fact, when they came to San Diego to speak on stage at my event, FlynnCon, in 2019, Shane actually gifted me a skipping stone and told me the story about how my podcast, this podcast you’re listening to right now, changed their world, had allowed them to quit their jobs, build million dollar businesses and then now they’re helping others with their lives too, and how I’ve been able to make an impact in that way. And it’s just mind blowing because you never know, with just one weighted message, like a rock, that ripple effect transcends through so many people. And I wanted to highlight another student and listener of the Smart Passive Income Podcast, her name is Mary Barbera. And in fact, this is our special guest today.

She is the host of the Turn Autism Around podcast. She’s written a book of the same name, Turn Autism Around. And I remember her name because she asked a load of questions in office hours, which is actually encouraged. I offer office hours every single week for people who are students of my paid online courses. And she took one of my courses, then she wanted to start a podcast. And she started asking a lot of questions about that. And little did I know that this podcast that she was going to create, Turn Autism Around, was going to have a massive rippling impact on the world, especially with those who are affected by autism in some way. And I’m so thankful to bring Mary on the show today, to talk about her journey with how she took something that happened in her life, that in many cases would just crush people. And she was able to, as she says, turn it around and use some super powers of her own to help change behavior in her child with autism and how she’s now spreading that message across the world too in such a beautiful way.

So make sure you stick around because this is a great episode. If you’re at all interested in the beginning era of your business journey, if you’re all interested in the podcast that you might be able to create one day that could spread a message for you. If you’re at all interested in what it’s like to build a brand around truly serving others, then this is the episode for you. Stick around. Here we go.

Announcer:
Welcome to The Smart Passive Income Podcast, where it’s all about working hard now so you can sit back and reap the benefits later. And now your host – he likes to sit on his electric skateboard and pretend he’s a bobsledder – Pat Flynn!

Pat:

What is up? Thank you so much for joining me in session 483 of the Smart Passive Income Podcast. I’m really excited about today’s episode because although this podcast is called Smart Passive Income, today’s about impact. And your earnings are byproducts of how well you serve your audience. Your success will come from the value that you offer others and how much of a problem solver you are. And Mary is a problem solver, and she’s lived through a lot of these things. She’s now teaching others how to turn autism around, which again is the name of her podcast. So you can all check that out at the end of the show, if you’d like, however, sit back, relax, listen in. This is an amazing episode here with Mary Barbera. You can check her out at MaryBarbera.com or the Turn Autism Around podcast or book. Here she is.

Mary, welcome to The Smart Passive Income Podcast. Thank you so much for coming in today.

Mary Barbera:
I am so excited. I have listened to the podcast for many years now and I’m so thrilled to be here.

Pat:
And I’m excited to dive into your story because there’s been a lot of touch points within the SPI brand and some of the teachings that have helped you along the way. And I want to touch on all those, but if you were to describe to everybody listening what it is you do now, what is it that you do?

Mary:
So I am in the autism world and I fell into the autism world more than two decades ago when my firstborn son Lucas, started showing signs of autism and I didn’t know anything about autism back then. I have a master’s degree in nursing and married to a physician. My husband is the one who first mentioned the possibility that Lucas might have autism. And I told him on that day, I can vividly see where I was in the house and he said, “So you don’t think Lucas might have autism?” And Lucas was 21 months of age. And I said, “I never ever want to hear the word autism again.” I was just devastated, didn’t have any idea what autism would look like in a toddler. And so I went into a deep state of denial, which then only hurt the situation because Lucas continued to regress and not catch up. And I didn’t know how to teach him to talk or talk more. I didn’t know how to teach him anything.

So fast forward, I found out that the most validated treatment for autism was a behavioral treatment. And we put that in place and then kept moving forward. And then I realized, oh my god, nobody knows anything about autism so I have to, so I became a board certified behavioral analyst, started helping people, wrote my first book, which is in now over a dozen languages, traveled the world speaking on autism.

Pat:
Wow.

Mary:
And then it was like, I got a PhD because I’m like, all right, now I know what to do. I can’t travel around the world, I can’t go door to door, I got to get my message out. Maybe if I get a PhD, people will listen to me. I got a PhD and more like, what are you going to do now? I don’t know, I’m going to just keep playing potato head with my little kids until I can figure out how to go online. So this is 2011 and things were just starting to come up online. It took me a couple of years. And then in 2015 started my online course for professionals and gung-ho parents and then created a second course, created a third course. And my third course really is what my main focus is now, because way back in 1998, when Lucas started showing signs, I had no idea what to do. The rate of autism was one in 500. Now the rate of autism is one in 50.

Now there’s long waiting lists to even see if it’s autism and the earliest signs of autism are also the early warning signs of ADHD and speech delays. So now basically what I really want to do is get into the general parenting space and the general health space and really change the way autism is detected and treated, empowering parents to know what to do for the one in six kids that end up with a developmental disorder. So in the process I found you in August 2016, I was at a live event with Amy Porterfield. Also, I’d been following her for years. You had just come out with Will It Fly? And I have been a very good student of yours. And you have taught me so much that I’m just thrilled to… Obviously most of your audience is not in the autism world. Although, one in six kids has some kind of developmental disorder. So I’m really trying to get the message out that you can turn autism and signs of autism around.

And my brand new book is Turn Autism Around: An Action Guide for Parents of Young Children with Early Signs of Autism. And it’s going to be a great, game-changing book. And I want to get the word out about that. But you have helped me so much, so I think I know as a listener what tips I can give the listeners out there to help them in any industry.

Pat:
Yeah. Well, thank you for that. And it’s very clear the mission you’re on and how you’re using the internet to help support that mission with your new podcast, with your book. And we’re going to get into all those things too. First of all, just thank you so much. Where can people go to listen to the podcast or find you just in case they want to go check that out right now, before we dive in?

Mary:
So my podcast is called Turn Autism Around, which is also the name of my new book. So you can go to TurnAutismAround.com or my main website is MaryBarbera.com. That’s all going to be linked. And I also tell people, if you’re struggling with a specific issue, potty training, sleep, talking, tantrums, you can just Google “Mary autism” and your topic and something will likely come up.

Pat:
Cool. Well, thank you for that. And we’ll obviously, like you said, put all the links in the show notes and whatnot. But I want to go into when you first found me at Amy Porterfield’s event, Amy and I are great friends, love her to death. She’s amazing. She still continues to do amazing things and could check her out at AmyPorterfield.com. But was that the event where, when I launched Will It Fly? I actually, at that event had brought my son on as a surprise?

Mary:
No, your son wasn’t there.

Pat:
Okay. I think Amy had two events and one of them, I had my son in the back room to come out. Because as you might know, in the beginning of the story in Will It Fly?, he’s definitely a part of that story with how he tried to build a paper airplane and it wasn’t working and then he failed. And so I’d love to hear when you started, what were some of the parts of Will It Fly? that were most impactful for you and perhaps even specific exercises that you’ve used? And what did you learn from them?

Mary:
Yeah, so I had already started a little bit, but I still loved your book. I read it cover to cover. And one of the exercises that really stood out to me was for us, the reader, to think back on all the jobs that you had done in the past and think about things that you liked and things that you didn’t like. And it was so enlightening because one of my very first jobs was working at the pool concession stand. So I could think, okay, what did I like about that job? So many years ago. But I remember like when we’d have Pac-Man popsicles and we would have an abundant supply and just drawing a little Pac-Man and being like sale and put the price down, which wasn’t really a sale, we were just promoting that if you will. And then a job that I didn’t like in the concession stand was cleaning the floor at night.

And then I was a registered nurse for many years and I developed a new shift to shift report system for the 7:00 to 3:00 shift, giving report to the 3:00 to 11:00 shift. And ended up going hospital-wide at Thomas Jefferson University Hospital. So that’s what I really thought I would do when I had my kids. And when I headed back to work, I thought I would get a PhD in nursing and go back to that really innovative work that I was doing. I was publishing, I was presenting in the nursing field, but then when Lucas was diagnosed with autism, I needed to switch gears because I had a new mission. So just looking back on the things you liked about a job and the things you didn’t like, and it really weaves its way into, not only what you’re doing now, but is it something that’s making you happy? Is it something that lights you up that you wake up and you go…

When people talk about retiring or working four hours a week, that is not appealing to me at all. I literally think I’m going to be on my death bed still writing and typing and doing lives. I am so motivated to get the word out that you can really turn things around and make things better.

Pat:
Thank you for that. Yeah. And again, the exercise in the book is called the history test, where you look back at your three jobs and there’s a worksheet and a free companion course to go along with that book, if you’d like to check it out. But it really helps you dive into, again, the parts of the older jobs you had that you did like, and the parts that you didn’t like, because when you’re creating your life, when you’re creating your businesses, you get to incorporate whatever it is you want to incorporate in there. And I think a lot of people who I know who are successful on paper, aren’t necessarily happy because they’re doing things that yeah, maybe they’re making money, but they’re just not happy. On that note, Mary, what is the most fulfilling thing that you do now as an entrepreneur? What lights you up with regards to what you do?

Mary:
I think when people email or comment and say, my child went from two words to 500 words in 30 days during the COVID shutdown – that kind of thing is like what? And you’ve just followed my course, you didn’t have anything else going on. I don’t personally look at videos. I don’t personally guide you. I mean, literally we just send you back to the videos and when people have success and people are like, “Wow, this changed my life.” And it’s very fulfilling. And just to know, I think another thing with Will It Fly? and just my history is, I didn’t know how to do an online course. So I took an online course about how to do an online course. I didn’t know how to do a webinar, so I took a course. I took a course, basically, I didn’t know how to write a book for first time and so I learned, and I did it, and I think just empowering people to go, you can figure it out and there’s a lot of help now in figuring it out.

Pat:
For sure. It’s being clear on what it is you’re trying to do, and then finding the help to do that and not being afraid to either invest or to ask for help or find it. And I know that you came across a video of mine at one point with relation to a book that was really helpful. Might you be able to describe that book and exactly what it did for you?

Mary:
Yeah, so I think it was probably 2017 or ’18. And I was trying to set up a video studio in my house. You had done something like that, Amy Porterfield, and I was watching some people set up video rooms and all hooked up and I was like, you know what? I’m going to do that, I’m going to try to take a course. And I did it. It was tough because I’m not a technical kind of gal. But I was searching for – maybe you would give a video tour of your studio or something, so I’m searching on YouTube and I came across video number one, Pat Flynn on YouTube, it’s called video number one, how to draft a book fast or something like that. And I watched it, it was only about 20 minutes long and I’ve told many entrepreneurs to go there because I had already written a book that is still selling better than ever. And from 2007, it’s unbelievable.

I already had a PhD by that point, so I can write, I can organize content, I can deliver content, but I swear that video number one changed the way I organize content. So basically, sticky system. I had a safety bonus video that was on my list to do, so right after I watched you and I was like, okay, I’m going to try this exactly like Pat Flynn says. And I put my sticky notes out, I put, okay, we’re going to have to have gates and those sorts of things. But I also had stories where a little – this is in my new book, Turn Autism Around, but a little boy who was only, not even three yet, all of a sudden his parents couldn’t find his clothes in his drawers. They’re like, ‘Where did you put the clothes?” The mom asked the dad and he’s like, ‘I didn’t touch his clothes.” Here, the two and a half year old, opened a second floor window, threw all his clothes out on the roof and closed the window. And this is a little boy with autism. And so that’s obviously a big safety story, right?

Pat:
Yeah.

Mary:
So on the little note, on one of those stickies, I put Chino with the roof. And then unfortunately I had a little boy who was six and he wandered away from his house and he drowned in the neighbor’s pool. I had worked with him when he was three and he was six when he drowned and obviously very heartbreakingn-

Pat:
Traumatic.

Mary:
But that’s a very real concern, especially for kids diagnosed with autism because as they grow bigger, they can open doors. And even this two and a half year old managed to open a window and close it again. And so safety is a huge concern. So I ended up doing my safety bonus video using your, how to draft a book real quick. And that bonus video is very, I think it’s at MaryBarbera.com/safety. It worked like a charm, your technique. And it also was transcribed and there’s a safety chapter in my new book. So there’s where you repurpose content. I also use that, how to draft a book, organizing system. I use that for solo shows. I used that in drafting my second book.

Pat:
That’s cool. Yeah, I mean, many people who’ve been following me for a while know I have a relationship with Post-it Notes and how it is something I use for everything, from creating online courses, to books, to planning vacations and anything, planning my office space. It’s such a cool thing. I think what’s really interesting about that story, Mary is like, you weren’t even looking for that content, it found you. Do you remember what about, I don’t know, it was a while back, but I’m guessing you were like, you found my studio video and then you saw other videos that I had. What was it about that video in particular that made you go, oh, I need to watch that? Was it because that was just something you needed help on at the time? Or was it the title? Or, I don’t know. I’m just trying to get into your head a little bit about how that all happened.

Mary:
I really couldn’t find a video tour, which is what I was looking for, but I had already read Will It Fly?, I already met you at Amy’s event. And so I was just like, wow, let me watch this. I wrote a book pretty fast in 2006 and it was published in 2007, but you know what, let me see how he writes a book. And I was just like, oh my goodness, this is changing everything. It really did change the way I organize content.

Pat:
That’s cool. Thank you for that. And again, if you’re trying to remember what we’re doing here, we’re just talking about the fact that you listening right now, you have the opportunity to take action, you have the opportunity to take all these things that you’re learning from any of the podcast episodes, the YouTube channel, the blog, the courses, whether you invest in a course or not, that stuff’s there. You just got to, like Mary – The reason I brought Mary is because she’s taking action. You can tell how she’s learning something, she’s taking action to learn more, to then take action with, to learn more. And now fast forward to today, I know because you have been a student of mine in a course, you’ve shown up in office hours asking amazing questions. Again, an example of you taking action to start your podcast. I know inherently why you want to start a podcast. You want to get your message out there, but you could have started a podcast years ago. What made you go, now’s the time?

Mary:
Well, I think I bought Power-Up Podcasting when you first launched it in 2017, I think.

Pat:
’17, yeah.

Mary:
And I bought it and I was like, I think I had my hands full with whatever was going on. And I was like, you know what? It’s lifetime access. I know Pat is great. I know this will be good. And I let it sit on the shelf actually for a whole year. And then I decided, okay, now’s the time. And I knew I had your course and I binged watched it in about a week because once I decide on something, I’m all in-

Pat:
Yeah, you’re just like me.

Mary:
And I am like, okay, let’s do it. And one of the first exercises or one of the first action steps that you had in Power-Up Podcasting was pick a date. I’m like, okay, so this is late 2018. So I was like, okay, January, and decide on the day of the week. Okay. Tuesday, and it was January 22nd. I’m like, okay. And so this is December and I’m like, okay, January 22nd is my date. And then I get to the next module and you’re like, okay, you need to release three to five episodes on that date. I’m like, oh my God, I think he did that on purpose.

Pat:
I did. I don’t tell you that you upfront or else you’re going to be too-

Mary:
I was like, oh my God. Now, I not only have to have three to five to unleash that day, but then I also have to have three to five to produce so that it’s going to be consistent. And I could see that with the autism podcasts that were available back then, I mean, that’s one of the reasons I started it. It was like, there’s really nothing out here. And a lot of the podcasts, if you click on them, they would no longer be active. That happened time and time again. And I knew I was producing video blogs every single week for years, probably year four now with video blogs. So out of the autism market, I am, I don’t want to say the only game in town, but that’s why if you search “Mary autism” plus your topic, I probably have something on it. And so then in the early 2019, I started the podcast, but the other really good tip in PUP, which was a game changer, was to create a podcast launch team, which I did.

I listened to Daniel Decker’s SPI podcast. And that was about creating a book launch team. And you talk about it with the podcast launch team. And I probably had four or 500 people on my podcast launch team. And the purpose of the podcast launch team is to get your raving fans excited so that they will immediately post on Apple podcasts, give you reviews and ratings and really create momentum. And I’ve given that advice to other authors. And now that my second book is coming out, I created a book launch team, same thing, and I’m up to almost 500 people now.

Pat:
That’s really cool.

Mary:
In just a month.

Pat:
Well, first of all, congratulations on the launch of your show. How well is it doing now?

Mary:
So in two years we had over 400,000 downloads. It is a weekly show. I mean, I could go on and on and give a whole lecture about everything I learned in the podcast. But the basic thing was to name your podcast and you recommended three words, maybe four. So I’m playing around with autism and so Turn Autism Around came up. And the other big thing is once you decide on a name, make sure you can get the URL before you say, okay, this is the name.

So we got the URL, named it Turn Autism Around, which even now is somewhat controversial because some people consider autism to be a gift. The autism spectrum is very wide and I’m really just trying to help make lives better. There’s no doubt that if you have a two year old or an 18 month old that you’re having concerns about, that’s not talking, not imitating, not touching their body parts, not potty trained, not sleeping in their own bed, there’s no doubt that with the techniques that I’m offering in my book and my podcast and my video blogs, we can make things better for these kids and help each child reach his or her fullest potential. And that’s really what it’s about. But some people are like, “What do you mean by turn autism around?” It’s like, I want to make things better.

Pat:
Yeah. I mean, that’s interesting. I think that when you especially start to grow a little bit bigger, you start to attract different kinds of people with different thoughts and different opinions. Was that hard for you to hear perhaps the other side, the side that you didn’t even expect was going to show up? People who may say those things, perhaps other people who are very adamant and strongly disagree with you in some ways, what’s it been like to deal with those kinds of people? Some of that is just, everybody’s entitled to their opinion of course. And of course, every once in a while you also get the occasional troll and hater. Can you speak to your experience with that side of putting yourself out there now that you’re out there and quite wide now?

Mary:
Yeah. It is something that you have to deal with no matter what industry I think you’re in. And I think one of the Q&A questions that I gave you, I do attend office hours that you have for all students, which is another huge perk that I don’t think enough people take advantage of. But I asked you about haters and I only have four and a half star rating on my Apple podcasts. And it’s four and a half stars, I have 250 ratings or whatever. I mean, that’s good enough. And I have four and a half stars on my first book and hopefully I’ll have four and a half or five stars on my new book, but they’re not your avatar. If they’re hating on you, they’re not your avatar. I don’t get into arguments. I have a page in my book on – some people consider autism a gift, but I have a 24 year old that needs 24/7 care for the rest of his life. And so he is impaired.

And as a mother, as a taxpayer, as anybody, you would want him to be – and these are my three things for both my kids, as safe as possible, as independent as possible, and as happy as possible. And my younger son, Spencer is in medical school. And I want the same three things for him. I’m sure – you have two kids, Pat. You want them to be safe, independent, and as happy as possible.

Pat:
For sure.

Mary:
And that’s the goal. So I don’t spend a lot of time on haters. If we get negative comments we do, we have contractors and staff members who actually go through and delete stuff. Because if I’m spending money on advertisements, I certainly don’t need people arguing that behavioral treatment is not a thing, not the best thing. And it’s like, I’m not going to spend money on you trying to hijack my mission, too strong.

Pat:
Thank you for that honesty. I think again, it’s just important to know that that kind of stuff can happen, but when you believe in your mission and you know it’s for the greater good, you just got to keep going anyway. And it’s your house. You don’t have to keep those people in if you don’t want to.

But on the podcast, 400,000 downloads is a lot. You can have a very successful podcast with tens of thousands of downloads or even thousands with the lives that you could change and who you can affect and the business that could come in and whatnot. How are you growing this show? Is it just taking a life of its own? Or what strategies are you doing to get more listeners? I’m curious.

Mary:
So I think consistency, my listeners know it’ll come out every Tuesday, regardless. I do a mixture of solo and interviews. That has really, I’ve been able to get some people that I really wouldn’t have even considered contacting to give me an excuse to contact them. And in the autism and in the parenting space, there’s not a whole lot of email marketers. So my people don’t necessarily have lists, but they have reputations and they have good information. So I email my list every week about the podcast. We do video and audio, we do clips, we’re also growing our YouTube channel. I think three years ago, I had a thousand subscribers, now I’m at over 77,000 subscribers.

Pat:
Amazing.

Mary:
So we are moving and grooving. I don’t do any sponsorships yet, but I do always drive traffic to my free workshops, which lead into my evergreen courses. My courses, talk about smart passive income, I have grown my list and grown my course revenue just on evergreen, because it’s not the kind of subject you can go like, okay, I launch twice a year or, it has to be available-

Pat:
I mean that content is needed all year round. Yeah that has to be available.

Mary:
Every day I have people from over 80 countries who have taken my courses, both parents and professionals. So we sell every day, we launch every day, and it is unique.

Pat:
Can I ask you about that journey from podcast to course? What experience are you offering to get them there?

Mary:
We just offer a free evergreen webinar, whether you are a parent of a young child, you go to this webinar. And that course, if you’re a parent of an older child, you go to this webinar. And that course, if you’re a professional, you go to a different webinar. So it’s just, we give out the call to action, both on my video blogs as well as on my podcast, usually it’s MaryBarbera.com/workshop will get you into my free workshops and an invitation to join my course.

Pat:
Incredible.

Mary:
So it’s working.

Pat:
It doesn’t seem that complicated, I mean, I think people listening to this, like, oh, that’s it? You just go from here to here. And I think a lot of us entrepreneurs, we try to over-complicate things, which is why I wanted to draw that out. So Mary, this has been amazing. Thank you so much for giving us some insight on not just what you’ve learned from SPI and the podcasts and the courses and such and how you’ve applied it, but what you’re doing in general to help people and the mission that you have and the things that you’re applying after learning is just helping you support that. And I think that’s very inspirational. I imagine there’s going to be a lot of people who are really thankful for listening to this episode. So I appreciate you for coming in.

Mary:
I love your products, your podcast, your message. You’re such an authentic leader in the field. So it has just been an honor to be in your world and to be on this podcast. And just for everybody listening, you can do it, just put one foot in front of the other and anything you want to learn, you can do.

Pat:
One more time, where can people find out more from you?

Mary:
TurnAutismAround.com is where I’m really focusing my work, as my brand new book will be out and it is going to change a lot of lives and it’s going to change the way autism is detected and treated around the world.

Pat:
That’s awesome. We’ll have the links in the show notes, of course. And of course, if you have our premium backstage pass, make sure to catch that episode where Mary and I are going to talk a little bit more about life at home, a little bit more about Mary as a person. So thank you so much. Appreciate you. We’ll talk soon, Mary. Thank you.

All right. I hope you enjoyed that conversation with Dr. Mary Barbera. She’s an amazing woman and I’m so thankful for her time on the show here, because not only are many of you, I’m hoping like a ripple effect, like I was talking about earlier, are going to hear this and perhaps pass this forward to others and help others in different kinds of ways, but hopefully it’s inspired you with perhaps life challenges that you’ve had to turn them around too, and perhaps keep that ripple moving forward and keep that impact going.

And I talked about in the beginning of the episode how I have a message, I have a stone that I threw and it’s creating ripples out there. I’m just on somebody else’s ripple too. I can give credit to Jason and Jeremy from Internet Business Mastery. And they learned from somebody who learned from somebody. And what I don’t want us to be is become that concrete block in the water that stops that ripple from happening. We need to keep that ripple going and that takes work. But when we do this, we can help change lives. And as a result, as a byproduct, you can earn money. When you serve others, you get results. Nobody’s ever gotten poor by helping other people. I think it was Zig Ziglar who said, “You can get anything in the world that you want so long as you help other people get what they want.”

The message is the same. It holds true, I promise you. So go out there, provide value, help others. Thank you so much, Dr. Mary, for coming on the show again, listened to her podcast, Turn Autism Around or find her at marybarbera.com. Well, thank you so much for listening to this episode. This has been absolutely incredible. If you want to check out the show notes, you can go to SmartPassiveIncome.com/session483. Again, SmartPassiveIncome.com/session483. Thank you for joining me today. Thank you for all the reviews that have been coming in. They’re just tremendous and they’re so inspiring to me, they keep me pushing forward. So thank you for that. I appreciate you.

So make sure you hit subscribe if you haven’t already. Take care and as always team Flynn for the win. Peace.

Thanks for listening to the Smart Passive Income Podcast at SmartPassiveIncome.com. I’m your host, Pat Flynn. Sound design and editing by Paul Grigoras. Our senior producer is Sara Jane Hess, our series producer is David Grabowski, and our executive producer is Matt Gartland. The Smart Passive Income Podcast is a production of SPI Media. We’ll catch you in the next session.